@wizaj’s Instant Guide to Finding Out If You Are A Sidechick [INFOGRAM]
Mar 27
Five Important Things That Life Taught Me
Mar 05
Missing Letter, Rants No Comments
Sometimes I forget the original reason I came up with this blog – to provide you, the reader, and the people, with the Missing Letters on The Keyboard.
All my comedic qualities aside, I sometimes return to the original purpose of the blog, such as today. As I near my twenties, that I lived as a two year old, I sit back retrospectively and look at a few occurrences in my life, and that of others that have drawn me to the following conclusions.
Keep in mind, that some will disagree, obviously deluded but hey that’s just the way it is.
These #WiseWordsofWiza will guide you. The truth is…
5. There’s nothing unique about your situation
No matter who you are, where you’re from, what you’ve done, there’s a pretty good chance someone has been through it before. Occasionally, we find ourselves in situations that feel so unbearably indescribable you feel like the only person on the planet who could possibly understand what you’re going through. But nah fam, lotta people been through and are going through that right now.
Allow me to rant a little here. (If you don’t like it then consume a phallus)
The quintessential example of this is the “broken-hearted girl” persona. You come across these girls who had a couple bad experiences in their life with guys, probably due to their own lack of taste to be honest, and they end up closing themselves up and forming some somewhat misandric man-hating attitude because they feel they’ve essentially been wronged by the entire male species. Girls like these can easily be spotted from afar.
They are almost always single but seem to have the most to say about love, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but the way they try bring out this “I’m unique, deep, not easy to get with” image all the time isn’t nearly as attractive as it is depressing. Then you have the “I don’t need a man” class of girl who after; again; their inability to discern the difference between quality lads and wastemen, have found themselves totally absorbed in the idea that all men will destroy them. Usually they go around trying to appear ultra-independent, self-sustained and fawk you if you have a penis. There’s nothing wrong with a woman who can do her own thing, take care of herself, really, we encourage it.
But let’s get one thing straight here – you need a man. God designed the woman so that the man would not be alone. Women and men were inherently designed to seek and require love, so you only hurting yourself fam. Equally, you have these lads who are always on about never catching feelings or being committed to a single individuals because these days it’s all about the feline (pardon me, this is a family blog but I’m sure you follow) but you really gotta ask yourself who the real man is between the lad going on seeking fulfilment in between the legs of many a silly woman or the lad holding down a relationship throughout years of complications. I suppose some guys do that because it’s “cool” and makes up for their self-esteem issues, and others have been through stuff that kinda made them that way due to some evil biotch. I’m in no way encouraging some Drake-like stripper saving or marrying hoes but either way, you really gotta wonder whether your child will be proud of the stories he or she will hear about what you used to do in your youth.
I digress, my point is – no matter what it is you’re going through, stop making it an excuse for who you are now and start working towards a better you because you’re not the first, certainly not the last.
4. Live with your regrets
I can almost feel you instantly disagreeing with my heading right now. “Like no everybody knows how awesome it is to live without regrets. Regrets only keep you from making progress and chanchani” but calm TF down and listen to what I have to say. I’m not saying that you should wallow in sadness over the things you wished you had done differently but show some remorse. Remorse and repentance keeps you from making the same mistakes over and over again. Regret should be what you feel paining deep within the very fabric of your soul right before you try do something you did before that you know never ends well. Embrace your regrets positively. People misunderstand the “live without regrets” idea, they mentally cancel out the idea that they did something wrong, thus making it almost inevitable that they may make them again.
Also, I’m not saying you should have a long list of regrets you accept either. Some of this stuff just happens, so if there was nothing you could do – allow it. My biggest regret is that through my inaction, due to my selfishness and impatience, contributed directly to the death of three people – a woman and two children through a road accident that really should not have happened. I carried a burden on me for about a year before I finally accepted that things happened as they did because of a lot of things – there are some things I should have handled better but I did not and there’s nothing to be done about that now. But don’t let it happen again.
3. Each man is the artisan of his own fortune
Fact of the matter is people are born into different families, from different places in different environments under completely different circumstances. And we really are victims of our own circumstance because right off the bat, some people will be born having everything they need to enable them to be the best possible person they could be and live very comfortably doing so. Others will not be so fortunate, struggling without bare necessities. It’s never a level playing field. But at some point or the other, life presents opportunities for you to change your situation.
Be it through God, hard work, other people or anything. I think everyone has at least one thing that they are really good at. No matter how minor it may appear. You need to be ready to identify such opportunities and act on them to make the most of you. Instead of sitting down hating what’s around you waiting for something to change, you need to think about what things you can change about and around you to get what you want. Nowhere is this clearer than in the music industry worldwide. I don’t know how many aspiring rappers and singers I know who are relatively talented and consistently produce quality content idly waiting around for someone to walk up to them and discover them and instantly make them superstars or something. It’s not enough to be good at something – you need to put work and effort into working towards perfecting it and getting it out there and making it marketable so that it in turn can work for you.
2. Leave plenty room for disappointment
In any situation, things can go well, or not. Sometimes they don’t go well, contrary to what popular culture will have us believe. Sometimes the bad guys win, sometimes your dreams don’t come true and sometimes bad things will happen to good people. Every time I undertake a new endeavour I always acknowledge the fact that I may not like the end result. Anticipating a possible disappointment makes things a lot easier after it happens, and you get over it quite quickly. This is the single piece of advice I find is applicable in almost any situation and this is in fact The Motto. (no YOLO)
1. People are selfish
The sole root of many problems worldwide is the selfishness of the human being. It’s why there’s war. It’s why the world has more than enough food for everybody in it but there’s still famine. It’s why people argue, disagree, fight, conflict and hurt each other because they are unwilling to see past themselves and put another person first. It’s why there is sin. You kill a man because YOU don’t want him to live anymore. It’s why there is deceit, treachery, robbery.
Never underestimate, in any scenario, how selfish the other person can be. Nobody, save maybe your parents, is willing to do half the things you are willing to do for you. You are your own keeper, and nobody has your best interests at heart more than you do. Learn to think for yourself and let your instincts guide you and ward you from peril.
Never get too comfortable with the idea that someone’s going to always put your needs before theirs. More importantly, don’t think you’ll always put someone’s needs before your own.
//end.WJ
Memoirs of the Professor: Miss Zaky writes: Ten Common Mistakes Women Make With Men
Feb 09
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Memoirs of the Professor: Miss Zaky writes: Ten Common Mistakes Women Make With Men
by Wiz Jalakasi on Saturday, 29 January 2011 at 23:46 ·
The Professor was very privileged this month to have been given a chance to present an interesting paper he came across while chilling in the VIP section of the Professor Club on Smartass Avenue. As the Professor casually sipped his grossly-expensive non-alcoholic drink, listening to the new The Script album (Science & Faith – very nice by the way), he was intrigued by a discussion held with his close acquaintance, popularly known as Miss Zakiya April. She had with her a piece that I felt was not only shockingly accurate, but too beautiful to be kept in the confines of her laptop. Therefore, without further adue, the Professor presents his first memoir, thanks to Zaky.
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Regret – Guy de Maupassant
Feb 09
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Regret – Guy de Maupassant
by Wiz Jalakasi on Sunday, 13 December 2009 at 15:50 ·
Monsieur Saval, who was called in Mantes “Father Saval,” had just risen from bed. He was weeping. It was a dull autumn day; the leaves were falling. They fell slowly in the rain, like a heavier and slower rain. M. Saval was not in good spirits. He walked from the fireplace to the window, and from the window to the fireplace. Life has its sombre days. It would no longer have any but sombre days for him, for he had reached the age of sixty-two. He is alone, an old bachelor, with nobody about him. How sad it is to die alone, all alone, without any one who is devoted to you!
More
Professor Wiza writes: 10 Mistakes Girls Love to Make When It Comes to Guys
Feb 09
Professor Wiza writes: 10 Mistakes Girls Love to Make When It Comes to Guys
by Wiz Jalakasi on Wednesday, 19 January 2011 at 21:44 ·
So a lot of time has passed since the Professor got on the board and scripted something legitimate, seeing as people’s lives were relatively drama-free or they just didn’t want their personal drama being inscripted into notes by a crazy dude who thinks he’s actually good at this stuff all over Facebook. But in any case, the Professor is back and he’s tackling this very controversial issue this January as college season opens and a lot of girls wanting to be grabbed are getting it all wrong. Luckilly, the Professor is giving away these wonderful tips for free. Ladies, looks are not important! You can get (almost) any guy to like you if you make sure you pay attention to the following.
Prof. Wiza writes: Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make When Trying To Court A Girl
Feb 09
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Prof. Wiza writes: Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make When Trying To Court A Girl
by Wiz Jalakasi on Tuesday, 22 June 2010 at 21:52 ·
The cold month of June sees the return of the long awaited third installment in what most people call a lifesaving guide to working out the unworkout-able things in life. In this session, the professor will be covering the mistakes that most gentleboys seem to be making during the somewhat loathsome task of actually courting these wonderful little beings known as ‘girls’. Oh, how the tension and anxiety a guy feels during this time. Indeed, the process of courtship is a terrible bedfellow. Earlier this week, Prof. Wiza had to sit down with two of his most treasured acquaintances to discuss this delicate matter after an independent study revealed that most guys are failing horribly at courtship and so tragically in a period of cold weather. Therefore, the Prof. and his comrades felt it necessary to correct this unfitting scenario and conducted a research on what the hell was going wrong! More
And The Love Of Superficial Glamour: Why It’s Over Too Soon
Feb 09
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And The Love Of Superficial Glamour: Why It’s Over Too Soon
by Wiz Jalakasi on Monday, 5 April 2010 at 00:47 ·
Professor Wiza was very privileged this Easter break to have met an old acquaintance whom with Professor Wiza decided to sit down and have a chat with over some chilled Apple juice, the Dewlands Kind.
Now Professor Wiza is not so self-loving as to refer to himself in the third person throughout this note, that would be silly. Allow me, therefore, to change tenses and break this isht down.
Now this mate I met; was particularly saddened because he had realised that he made quite a mistake. Like most people, he was once liked by but did not like back a certain lady friend whom with he had much in common. At the time that this lady friend had taken interest in him but he himself was interested in somebody else, someone who he did not have much in common with but was, pardon my French, ‘blazin’ hot with a body to die for’ (By the way, if you are straight, that is heterosexual male who is shameless enough to use the phrase ‘to die for’ then you ought to seriously sit down and re-evaluate your sexual preferences – and go into hiding, or else get arrested) More
The Friend Zone – No way out. Frequently Asked Questions
Feb 09
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The Friend Zone – No way out. Frequently Asked Questions
by Wiz Jalakasi on Tuesday, 23 March 2010 at 21:59 ·
Professor Wiza explains one of the most tragically painful phenomenons to ever occur in a guy’s life: The Dreaded and ever-feared FRIEND ZONE (*Screams of pain and horror in background*)
What is the friend zone?
The Friend Zone is best defined as a mental association for males in the female mind (or females in the male mind) where the relationship is entirely nonsexual. The friend zone only has an entrance, and has no exit. There are four solid walls that surround you once you are in the friend zone and day by day these walls come closer to a central point at which you become wholly enclosed unless you do something to fight the four walls.
How does it happen?
The Friend Zone occurs when one very unfortunate guy/girl basically fails to meet a certain requirement in any one of four crucial aspects that are vital to the formation of “The Next Level”
The four aspects are;
Social Index
Physical Index
Logical Index
Personality Index
Ye Ol’ Facebook Notes
Feb 09
